Working with me

Here’s a few things you’ll either need or want to know about working with me.

Phone calls

Phones / calls have their place, sure. But phone calls are not generally conducive to productivity – while I’m talking on the phone, I can usually do hardly anything else.

I like to have everything in writing anyways – we all should. Partly so there can be no ambiguity later, but also because it’s easy to forget something that was said on the phone (or maybe one didn’t even hear it properly for one of a zillion reasons). For this reason, I ultimately require all instructions to be in writing.

Face to face meetings

See above.

With that said, I’ll attend any requisite meeting within AU if you really want me to. You’ll be paying for all of my costs as well as my time.

Unless the virus thing is still a thing. In that case, the likelihood is you’ll not meet me face to face under any normal circumstances.

Initial payment

When on-boarding a new client, I demand a pre-payment of around 50% of the anticipated amount of the first invoice.

Sooo… Let’s say I take on a small job for you – one that we think will take days or so. Whatever the cost estimate is, I need about half of that as a prepayment before I’ll commence work.

On the other hand, let’s say we’re getting into a project that’ll last at least weeks (in which case I’ll need to be paid around weekly) – I’ll need about half of whatever we think the first week’s estimated bill will be.

In case it isn’t obvious, the reasons for this are twofold; if you pay the “deposit”, you must be serious (I hate having my time wasted – there’s not enough of it already) – and if you disappear or refuse to pay within a short time, I’m not left completely out of pocket. It’s happened a lot over the decades…

My rates

It really depends on the job, and often varies job by job. But if I’ve given you no other indication and you’re thinking of something like $AUD50/hr, give or take, then you won’t be surprised 🙂

Keep in mind that you only pay for each *productive* hour. You don’t pay pay for me spending time buggerising around with something that c/shoulda been done properly the first time.

If I need to learn something new so I can help you properly, you’ll only pay for that time if I’ll never need it again.

Equity deals / profit sharing / “a piece of the company” / etc

No.

Stuff I won’t do

  • A half-assed job. Shoddy work just to meet a budget or a deadline is out of the question.
  • Work on any Internet-facing MS Windows-based machines.
  • Muck around with payment. I give my clients 110 percent. When payment is due, I expect it in a timely fashion.
  • Work on anything illegal or immoral.